Will You Stay a Dream? Oh my Dream!

I am a dreamer,and I assure you! I'm not that good on dreaming. Like everybody else, obstacles in life easily stop me on achieving my dreams. I tend to give up when everything seems to go against me. Thats why my dreams, never come true?

When I was in high school, I once liked this girl. She was simple, cute, funny, kind, and the apple of my eyes, Oh! I forgot she was my best friend and she had a boyfriend. She was the girl of my dream. I used to tell her my secrets and listen to her's. We were the best of buds and no one can separate us. Since we were in elementary I already had this big crush on her but no one had ever notice. I've always wanted to tell her the truth but I didn't for I thought that could end our friendship. We used to said '"I love you" to each other, but in a sarcastic way and she had never thought that was real. For 6 years I had hidden that feeling until someday I've learned that she felt the same but that day was the saddest day of my life. She left to study somewhere very far away with out knowing my feeling for her and we never had any kind of communication at all.

From that day. I've learned that when you want something, or in my case someone, you must do your best to have it or it will never be yours.

Poverty in Life

You know? long long time ago, no one knows about the word poverty because it never existed, but now it's one of the popular word on earth for it is also the popular problem. Poverty is the only illness that has no cure. Its the number one killer of all time. It already killed millions of people around the world.

Did you ever experience being poor in your whole life, I mean really poor? Believe it or not, there was a year of my life when I was a victim of poverty. I spent my whole Grade II life as a child from a poor family. My mother and father never got together as a family. I lived with my very young mom and I saw poverty in my life. Its so easy to become poor but its never easy to be poor. As a seven year old child, I've learned to wake up early in the morning in order to help my mother on the household choirs, to go to the river with my cousins to take a bath even before the sun rises, and to walk a two kilometer distance from home to school and vice versa even its raining hard. That's how unfair life is when you are poor to the extent that you must make sacrifices for you to achieve your dreams, that's why my mother signed that adoption paper.

I'm sure what I experienced is nothing compared to other children out there in the streets. We must be thankful of what we have because many other people can never experience what we experience.

POVERTY

The Inconvenience of no Security

In my whole life, I've never experienced security even in the comfort of my ow home. For I know danger can strike anytime and anywhere. Nothing in this world can assure you of perfect security.
The feeling of being unsecured is really inconvenient. In a way that you should always be extra vigilant and extra careful almost all the time. Wherever you go you should always be conscious of your environment and the people you meet. There's no time to rest specially when your on those public places and danger prone areas. A good example is when you go shopping, now malls are very dangerous places specially with the bombings. It's inconvenient in a way that shoppers can't shop well and can't shop in a regular basis unlike before because of these bomb threats and everything. People can't anymore live life to the fullest like the way they lived it before because of this feeling of no security. There's no time to relax. It's also very frustrating to know that we are not the only once that are in danger but also the people we cared and loved for. Specially when were not by their side.
Now you know? How the feeling of being unsecured changed our lives and the life of the people we love. There's no doubt, no security is a recipe for frustrating inconvenience.

Movie! Movie! Oh Movie!

When I'm sad I watch movies, when I'm happy I watch movies, when I need inspiration I watch movies, almost every time movies always makes me smile. Somehow it always touches my heart, makes me cry and even frightens me. Local or international, it doesn't matter for I love movies specially those high flying, earth shaking, heart pumping action movies. When I have problem I watch movies to forget, when I loose some one I watch movies to remember and when I'm sick I watch movies to get well.

It all started when I was just a little kid, me and my grandfather never miss a night with out movies. From beta maxes to VCDs to DVDs, the magic of movies never fails. We used to laugh and shout together. I really miss those days. Time really flies so fast but movies always keep up, that's the beauty of it. Movie oh, movie.

My Super Dooper MOms

Nothing in this world compares to my moms. If your wondering, why moms? Because believe it or not, I have two mommies . My biological mother that gave life to me and my guardian mother/ grandmother/ mentor that had always been there beside me in times of trouble and happiness. Both of them are the most important women of my whole life, if I marry someone someday I would really love her to be just like them.

My mothers are the reasons of what I am today. Even though I'm not perfect, I always feel appreciated when I'm with them, no matter how big of a failure I am. They are my inspiration, my hope and my motivation to reach my dreams. There were times when I become insensitive with their feelings and hurt them, I really hate myself when I do that but somehow I still do. It sucks right? To know that your hurting the people who only thinks the best and good things for you. Thats why I am really trying to be the person they want me to be because I know that is the only way to repay all the love and care that they gave me.

They are not great nor perfect, for they are the super dooper greatest moms of all time, they are more than perfect. To my mama lily and mama lyn " I looooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee youuuuuuuuuuuuuu".

Me? A Bookworm?

No way! I'm not a bookworm. I even hate reading but somehow reading always comes by my way. I'm afraid of college not because of anything else but just because of three things: reading, reading and yet more reading. I really don't know why I'm not that much of a book lover but I do know that I love writing as much as i hate reading. It's hard to believe that a writer is not a reader, it's like a doctor whose afraid of blood or a teacher that hates children but its me, the writer me that is also the book hater me. Crazy right?

There were times in my high school life when we were given long selections to read and most of the time I failed on understanding what I'm reading and that's really my problem specially now here on college because unlike secondary level, now reading textbooks becomes reading very long text books all the time and thinking of that already makes my aching head ache more. Reading is like a submission that makes me want to tap out but your not allowed to tap out.

Unfortunately there's no way out. Besides that's part of a student life I must read what i must read no matter how much of a reading hater I am. But who knows? thing's could change. Besides there's no permanent thing in this changing world. Maybe someday or even at the end of the semester,the me who i know that hates books, the me who i know that loves hating reading will become a certified book lover or with a big question mark, a bookworm?